Author: Benjamin C. Roy Cory Garrett Rev History Rev .00 - 12/24/2007 Rev .01 - 03/10/2022
To the Last woman I slept with…
Talking to you on the phone last night
was the first time I ever listened to someone kill themself
Not just talk the talk about suicide
or subconsciously drink themselves to death
or pass out under a train bridge in the middle of February
praying for death
but take the knife in their hands
and do it
Really do it.
Before you were dead
and we were still talking
I was angry
because I thought
you were being both unfair and unreasonable
Because I said that life was worth living
And you said
“prove it.”
And I said nothing
So you said
“Don’t give me this bull shit, Ben
I need you
I need you
to help me right now
Because the only thing worth living for is my daughter
and you said yourself
that my depression
and obsessions
and anxiety
drain her as much as they drain me
and you ask me
What do I want?
When I’ve already told you a thousand times
But I’ll tell you again
And this time you better listen
Because there won’t be a next time:
Right now, I need you to save me.”
And I said
“I can’t
be a knight in shining armor
I can’t
make fairy tale endings”
And you said nothing.
For a minute
So I started talking and talking and talking
about nothing that was going to make a difference
Because I had already given you my answer.
So when you finally got bored of my voice
You interrupted me mid sentence with
“I’m sorry”
and then there was silence
and you were gone.